Did you ever feel grief?
Did you ever have the feeling, that your lungs would explode inside your body?
Did you ever feel your heart beat so bad, that you thought your heart would jump out of your chest?
Did you ever cry that much, that you were wondering where all those tears still coming from?
Well, I feel like this for the last couple of days. This is grief.
My dad died.
He died suddenly.
I don't feel it all the time. Most of the time I feel like it is not true. Like it is a bad dream I will wake up from. Like my dad is just on vacation and he will come to me after it and will say: What's with all that trouble? I'm still here. I didn't leave you. Don't worry!
But this is just my hope speaking to me. The truth is: He is dead. His soul is somewhere I don't know where and he will not come back to me. It's something I don't and won't understand. It's such a weird world and cruel things happen.
Did you ever have this kind of feeling?
Often when I felt very sad I knew there is some hope and the situation will turn around at some point. But this situation is just there.
It will not change.
It is just there to be accepted.
Which I can't.
At least not now.
This is a very personal post but I hope that is ok for you. It's just the things which are on my mind and why I may be a little silent for a while. Writing about it is a part of my healing process, I guess.
I would love to hear your thoughts! I would love to hear from people, who have to deal with similar situations. Or even some goods words. Anything.
|Me and my dad- Husum 2010|